ENTRY LXI | ruined progress

I was getting out of it. Every single time I’m about to lose it, the sanity
I have left, you would appear, to let me feel more how to actually lose all the sanity I tried to keep for years.

I was nervous. I didn’t know what to do knowing you’d be around tonight. I left for a minute when you went to our post. As I returned, seeing you’re not there for a moment I sat back to my seat and apparently you put your bag there but heck I care. Later on, you went back and forth getting something from your bag then suddenly you spoke the words: Oh sige na nga, kukunin ko nalang para di ka na mahirapan (seeing only half of my butt was only able to sit properly). Then, my friends teased me for being tired and all. I didn’t look back. I would only always laugh. So suddenly, I felt your hands massaging my shoulders. Dang, I love massages and damn, I missed you.

And hell, here I go again.

Then again, you teased me with him. Suggesting if I’d want you to borrow a towel from him for me. Sighs.

We collected the balls back as soon as all the games ended. Our head told me to go ahead to the office along with the bag containing all the balls, with my friend. As I was about to exit, I heard you call my name several times. I pretended to not hear. For the third time, I looked back and you were talking to me. I understood that you would help me with the bag so I smiled gladly and passed it to you while holding two more balls. I raised an eyebrow when my friend suddenly threw the ball she was holding at me. I was calling her and JG like girls when are you planning to leave? Then, there it hit me. I looked back at you and you were looking. I had to stop myself from panicking. They just had set me up. I was half grateful and half nervous and maybe another half of anxiousness rilling inside me. I was really nervous. Heck, I was scared to act awkward when this opportunity only comes once in a blue moon. You cracked a joke and oh gosh, I swear. I don’t know if it was me tired, your timing or just you who doesn’t know how to deliver jokes. You acted offended and teased me if it were Emeged, I would have laughed louder. I told you so many times, I don’t really have feelings for him but you didn’t want to believe me. You even told me: So, crush lang ganon? My jaw dropped like, man you seriously think I like your friend? How numb can you be? I was thinking about the key to the office when we both stopped then you asked me if I had it with me. We had to reassure each other we were not kidding each other and reality check, none of us really had the key so you went back.

As you returned with the key, we continued our journey (lol) to the office. You had a lamp with you which was left by a high school student. Istg, you’re nuts. I knew that lamp since my sister had the same thing. You saw CJ and handed him the bag. Gosh. I had to kiddingly ask sorry to him for having him carry the bag instead of doing it yourself.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned everything else but as we arrived there:
I was freaking thirsty I asked if you have any water, so of course.
You asked if I were any afraid of ghosts, I answered no. Guess you were disappointed. Sorry, I’m not some sort damsel of distress.

I feel like I forgot to mention a lot of things, ugh.


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