ENTRY XXVI | real quick

Hey, I saw you thrice this morning. I don’t know if you noticed me but I always do, I always notice you. I also saw you in the library but you left seconds later.

I always wanted to see you. I wanted to talk to you. I was wishing for more interactions.

But I missed to prepare myself from getting hurt. I forgot that I’m not always mentally strong. There are times when I just get emotionally weak. This heart.

I saw you even you were still far away from where I was standing. I was laughing happily with my friends when I saw you but for the first time… Instead of feeling  my side lips turn upward, it dropped. My smile dropped so did my heart.

You were with the person I know who happens to like you as well.

You’re both in the same league. How am I not supposed to feel bad?

Before I could stop myself from feeling anything, my body already moved. I looked away from you for the very first time.

For the first time, I didn’t want to see you. I wanted to avoid you. I talked and looked at my friends intently, avoiding your glances. I knew you were looking.

As we get nearer, I knew you were looking at me. Obliged, I looked back and all I had to give was my eyes rolling heavenwards. Well, I suppose, you’re used to me doing that but, sighs. I wasn’t planning to do that. I always ought to smile whenever I see you. Just not this time.

Why do you always stare? Why do you do that? Heck, I care if that means anything to you but let me just say this: Your eyes mean something. It makes me feel something, something dangerous.

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